Only you can help you

Therapeutic Healing for Body Mind and Soul

No One will Heal or Enlighten you but yourself – Your work Your Life. Only you can help you. This is a fault in our thinking. A fallacy and false association we make, probably developed in infancy when our parents would do for us what we could not do for ourselves.

You must do the work of life for yourself. It is very common for people to tell me how they have been to several psychologists, doctors, life coaches counsellors, tarot-readers and mind-readers yet none of these people have helped them. Although people can point out the path, they can not walk it for you. The work of life, healing and enlightenment must be done yourself. Only you can help you.

Not too long ago I saw a young lady leaving a hospital after about a weeks stay there. In short she exercised no gratitude or empathy. No thought for another. As she left two people carried her bags and another scooted some equipment out of her way. As I observed this young lady leaving I asked the nurse if she had thanked anyone since her arrival at the hospital. “She never said one thank you to anyone”, said the nurse. That’s okay a lot of people never say thank you she said with a smile on her face.” I thanked her three times and left a little wiser after all we can all relate. We all have had people put their expectations on us for their own selfish reasons. Of course some people live lives of quiet desperation working for, or married to people like this.

Those who don’t want to change, let them sleep!


When a person chooses to stay in the dark there is little one can do to get them to turn the lights on. If they are afraid that when the lights go on in their ‘house’ and the person they see in the clarity of their mirror is someone that they don’t like, a monster even, they will rather choose to stay away from all light switches in the house.

I have seen parents loose their pensions and their sanity trying to get this light switch turned on. I have seen others enable their adult children of thirty and forty into a state of learned helplessness that has done nothing but destroy the life of that child. Yet only you can help you. I have seen partners walk out of toxic relationships 10 years after the day they knew they had to leave. I have seen one human treat another with the disrespect and pain that they themselves feel inside. None of it would be necessary if people did the work of waking up to reality. Reality directly opposes the immature persona. Reality is kind, giving, generous, quiet and still. It is peaceful by nature, works with and for the good of all living things. The immature personality is garrulous, demanding, unkind, fearful and selfish by nature. The journey of life is from the self constructed personality through to the real, the truthful and the mindful. It is from the small minded to the open minded and from the disconnected self to the connected and mutually inclusive, universality of life. There is nothing in between except the journey to this awakening or realisation.

Only you can help you

We are all fearful of the path. We are all content not to change, even if it means staying in a state of suffering rather than facing our demons that may be hiding in our closets. The problem with this is that life never stops. It is moving forwards. Always. It has a purpose and that purpose is for you to get you from A to B. Perhaps you should read that again. Life will help you but not carry you. It will guide you but not force you. If you are thirsty, which we all are, you and only you will need to drink in life. Only you can help you. Once you have done that your heart will open and you will then help, guide and show others what will help receive their thirst. When this happens the circle of life is wholeheartedly complete. Until it happens, as Rumi says for those who don’t want to change, to grow and to live….let them sleep. Namaskar


Published by Mark L Lockwood

Mark L Lockwood (BA)(Hons)(psy) teaches spiritual transformation and is the founder of Contemplative Intelligence. Author of The Power of Contemplative Intelligence, Autotherapy and Recovery Magic. Our work is about the science of finding your spiritual self.

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