Center for Healing and Life Transformation (CHALT)

Explaining emotions and mental health to kids with the Amazing Feeling Tower Metaphor

Showing kids how their brains think and feel can make them far, far less anxious. It can give them a perspective that is otherwise hard to find as a kid. Can you imagine having anxious, fearful thoughts and not knowing what they are all about? Can you imagine feeling low because your perfectionist mask is trying to protect you at ten years old and unless what you do is perfect, it is never good enough! These feelings are so hard to sit with and even more difficult to understand as a young child.

So we use the metaphor of the Feelings tower from the Paradigm Shift Process book and we get to normalise these feelings, explain where they are and we even show them the way forward to heal these difficult feelings, in difficult times that we all have as growing human beings. Teachers, psychologists, coaches, parents and educators use the Amazing Feelings Tower by Mark L Lockwood to help kids with awareness, acceptance and then new action. We explain it to our kids pretty much like this, “It’s like a map of how you feel inside! It’s not about being “good” or “bad” if you’re on a lower floor sometimes. Everyone goes there! It’s just about knowing where you are and learning to climb higher”.

Your Amazing Feeling Tower! – Climbing upwards

So this is how we teach them about themselves first hand. Imagine your mind and feelings as a giant and Amazing Feeling Tower, with each floor representing a different level of how you experience life. This isn’t about being “good” or “bad,” but about understanding where you’re at mentally and emotionally right now. Think of it as a personal check-in, a way to get a better sense of your inner world and how you’re navigating the ups and downs of being a growing kid. Explaining emotions and mental health to kids has never been this simple.

We’re going to explore this “Amazing Feeling Tower of Consciousness” together, from the basement levels where survival instincts kick in, all the way up to the penthouse where you might find a deep sense of peace and connection. By looking at these different “floors,” you can get a better idea of the different emotions and thought patterns that might be influencing you. It’s all about gaining awareness and understanding yourself better, so you can navigate your journey with more clarity and strength. So, let’s take the elevator and see what we find on each level of your own personal skyscraper.

It uses a cool skyscraper or tall tower idea to explain how you can grow as a person. Think of it as The 100-Floor Feeling Adventure in Your Mind’s Super-Tall Building:

• The Basement: This is like your subconscious mind, where you keep old hurts, bad feelings, and stuff that holds you back. It’s important to recognize these things so you can move forward.
• The Reactive Zone: This is about learning to control your emotions and not just reacting to everything.
• The Awakening and Empowerment Zone: This is where you start to figure out who you are, let go of bad habits, and become more yourself.
• The Integration Zone: This is where you realize you need friends and support to get to the top.
• Middle Floors: This is like everyday life – dealing with school, friends, family, and responsibilities. It’s about making good choices and creating your own life.
• The Penthouse: This is like connecting with your spiritual side, going beyond your ego, and feeling connected to everyone and everything. It’s about pure love and understanding.
• Transcendent Zone: A high energetic zone where change rushes in and you enter the realm of the spiritual

Okay, let’s break this down into kid-friendly language, making it fun and easy to understand as far as explaining emotions and mental health to kids goes.

Part 1: Your Amazing Feeling Tower for kids!

Imagine your brain and feelings are like a super tall building, skyscraper or tower with 100 floors! Each floor is a different way you might feel or think. It’s not about being “good” or “bad,” just about seeing where you are right now.

• The Basement (Floors 1-20): The “Uh-Oh” Zone!
  • This is where you might feel scared, angry, or super worried. It’s like your “survival mode” kicking in.
  • Think: When you feel like everything is going wrong, or you’re really hard on yourself.

• Lower Floors (Floors 21-40): The “Whoa, Emotions!” Zone!
  • This is where your feelings might go up and down like a roller coaster.
  • Think: When you’re trying to be perfect, or you get mad easily.
• Middle Floors (Floors 41-60): The “Hey, I’m Learning!” Zone!
  • You’re starting to understand yourself better and figure out what you like.
  • Think: When you learn to forgive or find things that make you happy.

• Upper Floors (Floors 61-80): The “Friends and Feelings” Zone!
  • You’re connecting with friends and family, and feeling good about yourself.
  • Think: When you feel loved and want to help others.

• Penthouse (Floors 81-100): The “Super Peaceful” Zone!
  • You feel really calm, happy, and connected to everything.
  • Think: When you love yourself and feel super peaceful.

Where Are You On Your Tower?

• There’s no “right” floor to be on.
• Sometimes you might be in the basement, and that’s okay!
• The cool thing is, you can learn to move up!

• Ask yourself:

• Which floor do you visit the most?
• Which floor would you like to visit more?
• What can you do to move up? (Talk to a friend, try a new hobby, etc.)

Part 2: Your Mind’s Awesome Apartment Building!

Imagine your mind is like this amazing giant apartment building with 100 floors!

• On the outside, you look like everyone else.
• But inside, each floor is a different way you see the world.
• When you learn new things, it’s like taking the stairs to a higher floor!
• The view gets better, but it can be a little harder to climb.
• Imagine starting on the street, and only seeing a few houses. Then you climb higher, and you can see the whole neighbourhood.
• You learn you can make choices on each floor, like, who do you want to be?
• You learn to trust your feelings and your brain.
• Growing up is like climbing those floors, and everyone’s apartment building is different.
• This is you learning to see the world in new ways.

Where Are You On Your Amazing Feeling Tower?

Hey, so about that giant feeling tower we talked about. It’s like a map of how you feel inside! It’s not about being “good” or “bad” if you’re on a lower floor sometimes. Everyone goes there! It’s just about knowing where you are and learning to climb higher.

Let’s think about this:

• Which floor do you visit the most? Like, where do you spend most of your time feeling? Are you often in the “Worried Zone” or maybe the “Happy Zone”?
• Are there any floors you’d like to visit more? Maybe you want to spend more time in the “Creative Zone” or the “Friendship Zone”?
• What can help you climb higher?
  • Talking to a grown-up you trust?
  • Trying a new hobby?
  • Doing something you like, like playing a game or drawing?

This is like a game, but for your feelings! It’s different for everyone, and it’s okay to take your time. Just be honest with yourself and keep learning.

Remember This!

Think of the tower or building as a map for finding out more about yourself. It helps you understand your feelings better.

• Sometimes you might feel stressed, like you’re in the “Trying To Be Perfect Zone.”
• Other times, you might feel super happy in the “Making Cool Stuff Zone.”

It’s okay to feel all sorts of things! The important thing is that you’re learning how to understand your feelings and grow stronger.

You have the power to climb your own feeling skyscraper! Keep exploring and learning, and you’ll do great!

How Spider man climbs the awesome feelings tower

Chapter 1: Ground Floor – The Foggy Mess

Here’s a short story of how Spider-man deals with the Awesome Feeling Tower that you can relate to. Peter Parker, Spider-Man, was having a bad week. Everything felt mixed up! His homework was hard, he argued with his best friend, and a new bad guy, the Foggy Guy, was making everyone see crazy things. Peter felt like he was walking in a big, confusing fog, like he couldn’t see anything clearly. He was stuck on the ground floor of his own tall, tall building of feelings, and it was super messy.

Chapter 2: Second Floor – Looking Closely

Peter went to see his friend, Dr. Strange, who could do magic! Dr. Strange told Peter about “floors of seeing things.” He said Peter was on the second floor, where you learn to look closely. “You see the fog, Peter,” Dr. Strange said, “but you don’t see how it works.” Dr. Strange showed Peter a trick to calm his mind, like looking at a sparkly ball and watching his thoughts float away like bubbles. Peter learned to look at his feelings like he was looking at bugs under a magnifying glass.

Chapter 3: Third Floor – Changing Plans

Peter started to notice how the Foggy Guy made his fog. He made it stronger when people were scared or worried. Peter realized he needed to change his plan! On the third floor, he learned to change things up. He started telling funny jokes and stories to make people laugh and feel happy. He even helped organize a big “Happy Dance Party” to make everyone forget their worries.

Chapter 4: Fourth Floor – Feeling What Others Feel

When everyone was happy, the Foggy Guy got weaker. But Peter still felt sad. On the fourth floor, he learned to feel what others felt. He talked to the people he saved and listened to their stories. He learned that everyone had their own worries and that being a hero meant being a good friend, too. He learned that being strong was also about having a big heart.

Chapter 5: Fifth Floor – Seeing the Good Inside

With his big heart and his new understanding, Peter faced the Foggy Guy again. But this time, he didn’t just fight. He talked to the Foggy Guy and learned that he was sad and lonely. Peter helped the Foggy Guy see that he wasn’t alone. On the fifth floor of the Awesome Feeling Tower, Peter saw the good inside everyone, even the bad guys. He learned that being a hero was about helping everyone feel better.

Conclusion:

Peter swung high above the city, feeling happy and light. The lights below looked like tiny stars. He had climbed his own big building of feelings and learned so much! He learned that being Spider-Man wasn’t just about punching bad guys, but about helping everyone feel happy and safe. He knew that even though he was on the top floor now, there were always new things to learn and new ways to help.

Heartfelt Moral of the Story:

This story is about how you have your own big building of feelings inside you. Sometimes, it might feel like a foggy mess on the ground floor, and you might feel lost or confused. But you can climb up! You can learn to look closely, change your plans, feel what others feel, and see the good inside everyone.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help and to listen to others. You can make a difference just by being kind and understanding. Remember, the best view isn’t just what you see outside, but what you see inside your heart and the hearts of your friends. And that’s a view worth climbing for, every day!

Guiding Young Climbers on Their Feeling Skyscraper Journey

“The Awesome Feeling Tower” isn’t just a whimsical story; it’s a powerful tool designed to equip children with the vocabulary and understanding necessary to navigate the complex landscape of their mental and emotional health. By personifying emotions and thoughts as floors in a relatable skyscraper, we create a safe and accessible framework for children to:

• Develop Emotional Literacy: The tower metaphor allows children to identify and label their feelings, moving beyond simple “happy” or “sad” to a nuanced understanding of emotions like frustration, anxiety, and empathy.
• Normalize Emotional Experiences: By acknowledging that everyone visits the “Basement” (difficult emotions) and the “Rollercoaster Floors” (fluctuating moods), we reassure children that their experiences are valid and common.
• Empower Self-Regulation: The book introduces practical coping strategies, such as deep breathing, creative expression, and seeking support, empowering children to take an active role in managing their emotional well-being.
• Foster Self-Awareness and Growth: The journey through the skyscraper encourages children to reflect on their thoughts and feelings, fostering self-awareness and promoting personal growth.
• Build Empathy and Social Skills: The “Friendship Floors” emphasize the importance of healthy relationships, empathy, and kindness, contributing to improved social skills and emotional intelligence.

For Parents and Teachers:

This work provides a springboard for open and honest conversations about mental and emotional health. Encourage children to draw their own towers and skyscrapers, discuss their experiences, and use the tools provided to manage their feelings. Explaining emotions and mental health to kids has never been so important as it is today.

• Create a Safe Space: Foster an environment where children feel comfortable expressing their emotions without judgment.
• Use the Skyscraper as a Common Language: Refer to the “floors” when discussing feelings, making it easier for children to articulate their experiences.
• Reinforce Coping Strategies: Help children practice the coping strategies introduced in the book, such as deep breathing, journaling, and seeking support.
• Model Healthy Emotional Regulation: Demonstrate healthy emotional expression and coping strategies in your own life.
• Seek Professional Support: If you notice persistent or concerning emotional challenges, seek professional guidance from a child psychologist or counselor.

By using the “Awesome Feeling Skyscraper” by Mark Lockwood form the Paradigm Process of Healing yourself, as a guide, we can help children develop the emotional resilience and self-awareness they need to thrive, ensuring they have the tools to climb their own personal Amazing Feeling Towers and reach their full potential. Take a look at the adult version below and start your work with us today. Don’t ever stay stuck!

The Explaining emotions and mental health to kids metaphor we have created, along with the book, worksheets and assessments, helps children understand and navigate their emotions and mental health. There are ones for teens and adults too. By visualizing their feelings as floors in a skyscraper, kids can normalize difficult emotions, develop emotional literacy, and empower themselves with coping strategies. This approach fosters self-awareness and encourages open conversations about mental health.